El veto al cerdo desata la guerra más puerca que jamás ha existido
No sólo Rusia veta a nuestro pobre cerdo. Mitad por controlar el pánico de la población, mitad por proteger sus propios intereses, muchos otros países están impidiendo la entrada de productos procedentes de países afectados por la gripe A. Por un lado, México, España, Estados Unidos, potencias pro puerco. Por otro, China y Rusia, potencias antipuerco. Señoras y chanchos: ¡ha estallado la Guerra del Cerdo!
México está siendo el país más atacado. «No sólo bloquean a nuestros cerdos y nuestros pollos, lo que no tiene mucha base científica, pero todavía se explica», lamentan las autoridades mexicanas. «Es que, con la excusa de la gripe, bloquean hasta nuestra principal exportación, los burritos precocinados». «Burros, cerdos, son todo lo mismo», se justifican Rusia y China.
Precisamente, España está intentando anular el bloqueo impuesto por Rusia. Miguel Ángel Moratinos viene desarrollando una intensísima labor para convencer a Moscú (doscientos kilos de ibérico llevamos enviados a Putin), pero, por si eso falla, Defensa ha llamado a filas a cien mil cerdos reservistas, que serían lanzados en paracaídas sobre las principales ciudades rusas. Estos comandos suicidas tendrían la misión de arrojarse en las fauces de los ciudadanos, para ser devorados y mostrar así lo inofensivo de nuestras exportaciones.
«Esperamos no tener que llegar a la invasión», dice Carme Chacón. «Pero, en ese caso, sabemos que nuestros cerdos darán hasta la última loncha de sus jamones por preservar la paz. Digo, el libre comercio.»
Fuente : El Jueves
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